Puppies And Vacuums Don't Mix
by tarin2014tfan
Summary: Mikey tries to cut corners with his Spring cleaning chores.


**Puppies And Vacuums Don't Mix**

****Disclaimer**** \- I do not own TMNT or any of the characters therein. Some VERY rich dude does.  
****Rating**** \- Mature Audiences ONLY  
****Story Warnings**** \- Emotional distress, Swearing, Sibling teasing, Mention of bodily substances - talking about poo here people (Don't like these topics? Do not read!)  
****Pairings**** \- None. (Do not like? Do not read!)  
****Universe**** \- 2003  
****Ages**** \- Leo, Raph, Donnie, and Mikey are all in age range of mid-twenty. (I made them this age to account for time passage in the series storyline.)

****Summary**** \- Mikey tries to cut corners with his Spring cleaning chores.

****Story credits**** \- Television programs : Little House on the Prairie, Leave It To Beaver

****  
**** **Puppies And Vacuums Don't Mix**

****WARNING** CONTAINS MANY MENTIONS OF PUPPY **_**POOP, **_**IF YOU CAN'T HANDLE THAT, LEAVE NOW! **WARNING****

It wasn't the kind of smell one enjoys waking up to.

Ever.

But having lived his entire life in the New York City sewers, Leonardo was used to it, and took it all in stride. Only this morning, the smell seemed... off.

Tying his mask securely around his eyes, Leo opened the door to his room, ready to take on whatever the day had to offer.

He didn't expect that offering to be an assault to his sinuses when he stepped out onto the upper level balcony.

The 'normal' sewer smell he had grown up with was stronger outside his room.

A LOT stronger.

The odor reminded Leo of the time, as tots, their home had flooded with overflow runoff from the spring rains.

It may have happened again.

There had been a greater than average amount of snowfall this past winter that was well on it's way to melting, and an abnormally high amount of early spring rain.

Flooding was a viable possibility.

Just because the Hamato family hadn't experienced the joy of being flooded out of this lair by no means meant they couldn't be. Either way, flooded out, or pending, it was just one more thing the leader in blue would have to deal with.

As if he didn't already have enough on his plate.

Sighing heavily, Leo headed for the lower level. Today was the first day of spring, and just like every other first day of spring since the four turtle brothers were able to follow instructions, they were going to give their home a thorough cleaning, and decluttering.

It all started because their father had seen it on some near ancient TV programs.

Having been born a rat, Splinter really had no idea how to actually live human, but like all loving fathers, he wanted to give his sons the best possible life he could. So, Splinter depended on those wonderfully practical, and completely competent characters he saw on television for most of his child rearing, human living advice.

If Mrs. Ingalls and Mrs. Cleaver "Spring Cleaned", they would too.

Problem was, not everyone was onboard for that particular springtime activity.

Mikey made dodging spring cleaning an art form, utilizing everything from stalling, to nit-picking, to out-and-out disappearing to avoid whatever chores were assigned to him. And if all else failed, last but not least, was whining in the hopes his brothers would become so fed up they would tell the orange banded ninja to go away just to get some peace.

One year, out of sheer frustration, Raph threw a box full of Donnie's spare electronics at their youngest brother. Splinter said nothing, and Mikey got the point.

The family jokester now did his assigned duties without complaint.

Along with his attitude adjustment, it seemed Mikey had also taken the adage of, 'clean smarter, not harder' to heart as well, coming up with some rather creative ways of carrying out his least desired tasks in recent years.

As long as the spring cleaning got done, no one really worried about the how too much.

Leo made his way down the stairs, pushing the possible reason for the increased odor, and whatever potential mayhem his baby brother was going to come up with this year to the back of his mind.

Distracted by his musings, Leo didn't register his immediate younger sibling sitting a few steps up on the stairs until Raphael spoke.

"I wouldn't go down dere if I were ya."

Leo stood, foot poised to step down onto the lower floor. "Why not?"

"Safer if ya wait til dey make da next lap."

Leo's eyeridges furrowed in confusion. "Huh?"

Raph patted the open space beside him on the step. "Cop a squat, ya'll see."

Leo gingerly lowered himself down beside his brother. Raph said nothing more, but kept casting expectant glances to the left side of the lair.

Just when he was beginning to think the increased odor in their home had affected his brother's mind, Leo heard a loud commotion headed their way.

"You can't keep running forever, Mikey!"

"Neither can you!"

"True, but the only thing you exercise regularly is your fingers on a game pad! I have more stamina!"

Leo stared blankly as his two youngest brothers thundered past. Mikey was running for all he was worth with Donnie hot on his heels carrying a...

Leo shot up intending to rescue his baby brother.

"Chill, bro. Mikey's not in any danger."

Raph's voice was way too calm for the current situation in Leo's opinion.

"B-but... Donnie... he's..." Leo pointed in the direction Mikey and Donnie had disappeared, panic and shock evident on his face and in his voice. "It's a NAIL GUN!"

"I know," Raph nodded. "But it ain't hooked up ta da compressor."

Leo's brain was having trouble moving past the fact Donnie, their gentle, caring, understanding, fight-only-as-a-last-resort brother, was chasing Mikey around the lair with a nail gun in hand. "Compressor?"

"It's a pneumatic nail gun. Needs pressurized air ta make it work. If ya look when dey come by again, yer gonna see da hose ain't connected."

Leo stood on the bottom step, watching for his brothers. Sure enough, when Donnie came into view, Leo saw the air hose for the nail gun whipping around, hitting the olive skinned turtle in the leg as he ran.

Chuckling, Raph gently pulled Leo back down beside him, draping an arm around his stunned leader's shoulders. "I've never seen ya so all bent outta shape, Fearless."

"I've never woken up to one of my brothers chasing another of my brothers around the lair with a nail gun before either." Leo paused long enough to watch said brothers make another lap. "What on Earth is going on!?"

"Let me enlighten ya, and I promise when I'm done, da only place yer gonna want ta go is back ta bed."

Leo frowned. "What makes you think that?"

"Because Sensei did, an' yer jus' like him."

Leo looked wide eyed at his red banded brother. He wasn't so sure he wanted to know what was going on now. Not if it made Splinter lock himself away in his room.

"Oook-aaaayyy..."

Raph's grin got bigger.

"Well, ya know Donnie rigged up dat self-propelled vacuum..."

Leo nodded. "The Roomba, yes."

"He set it up ta run every night at one A.M."

Leo nodded again. It had been Mikey's idea to have the little vacuum run in the wee hours of the morning as a type of alarm clock for their genius brother.

Not to get up, but to go to bed.

"Okay, and ya know Mikey brought home dat lost puppy last night..."

Leo didn't much care for that glint shining in Raph's eyes. Nothing good ever came of it.

"The puppy he was taking to April so she could return it to it's owner..."

This time Raph nodded.

"Da puppy had an... accident last night."

Raph watched Leo's face morph from one emotion to the next as realization began to dawn.

"The puppy..."

Leo's eyes widened.

"Had an accident..."

He slowly turned to look over his shoulder at the lair's floor now covered with suspicious looking stains.

"And Donnie's Roomba..."

Abject horror filled every inch of Leo's countenance.

"Went right through it!" Raph burst out laughing as Donnie and Mikey thundered by once again.

Leo's head began to move back and forth in denial. No way... Inconceivable! Not in his home! Not TODAY!

It would explain the smell.

"Wrong!" Leo's hand whipped out so fast he almost poked Raph in the eye with his index finger. "Donnie thought of that! He turned the Roomba off! I know because I was with him when he did it!" he proclaimed triumphantly.

"An' Mikey turned it right back on."

Leo wilted.

He couldn't believe what he was hearing. It wasn't possible. It was so beyond even the most demented mind's wildest conjurings.

Yet, there is was, right before his eyes. Everything, literally EVERYTHING, chairs, tables, walls, workout bench, all of it, was covered at least a good inch above the floor.

"Everything?" Leo all but whimpered.

"Everywhere."

"Kitchen?"

"Yep."

"Dojo?"

"All over da weapon racks!"

"Bathroom?"

They both watched as Mikey and Donnie made another lap, this time going in the opposite direction.

"Might not be so bad." Leo turned to look at his emerald brother. "Ya know, condensation on da bowl."

Leo nodded numbly. "Sensei's room?"

"All good. He sleeps wid da door closed."

"Good thing." Leo sat back down beside Raph with a heavy thump. "This is..."

"Poop-ageddon? A poop-tastrophe? A poop-lamity?" Raph rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "Dat last one doesn't sound quite right, I like poop-ageddon."

"You're pretty calm about all," Leo waved his hand towards their so-in-need-of-a-mopping home. "This."

Raph shrugged. "I ain't cleanin' it up. Not my dog. Not my Roomba. Not my sh..."

"STOP!" Leo didn't want Raph to say it. Somehow, if Raph didn't say it, it might just turn out to be nothing more than a nightmare.

He looked around the lair.

Nope. It wasn't.

Nightmares weren't this bad.

He had been up for a grand total of forty-five minutes, but Leo felt more tired than he would have had he been up for a day and a half.

"What in the world compelled Mikey to restart the Roomba after Donnie turned it off?" Leo ran his hand over his face. "Temporary insanity?"

"Permanent laziness."

He should have known.

"Figures." Leo watched the two youngest run by again. Donnie had gained a couple steps on his fleeing brother. "That would explain the chase." Leo's head dropped, his chin hitting the top of his plastron. "What'd he do?"

"Ya know how Donnie always... tweaks da things he fixes?"

Leo didn't bother lifting his head. "Mh-hm."

"He rigged da Roomba fer an extra set a brushes." Leo tilted his head just enough to see Raph's face through one slitted eye. "Mikey replaced da extra brushes wid rags."

Leo saw it coming.

"An' he rigged it up ta spray cleaner every other pass."

"Let me guess, Mikey's job was to mop the lair this year."

"Yep."

Mikey's behavior was so laid back is was easy to forget he was almost as electronically inclined as his genius brother.

Almost.

When he put his mind to it.

Leo gave his emerald brother a thoughtful frown. "That still doesn't quite explain the nail gun."

"Oh, dat. Well, Mikey got up first dis mornin'."

"He saw what happened," Leo prompted.

Raph nodded. "I'd say he saw his life flash before his eyes, but whatever da reason," Raph shrugged. "He put da Roomba in da bathtub."

Leo saw himself taking only showers for a VERY long time.

"Wid da battery still in it."

Leo couldn't keep from cringing. Usable batteries were hard to come by, especially the specialty ones for computers... and Roombas.

"It died a hissin', sparkin' death," Raph chuckled. "Nice little fire too. Da remains're still in da tub if ya wanna take a look."

THAT explained the nail gun.

"Well, I'm not cleaning this mess up either!" Leo announced, pulling himself up by the banister. "You had breakfast yet?"

Raph gave him the 'look'.

"Ri-ight. Sorry. My bad." Of course Raph hadn't had breakfast yet. That would have involved walking to the kitchen through the... Roomba leavings, and Raph wouldn't dare.

He wouldn't even get his hands wet in fart water.

"Sensei?"

Raph shrugged. "Probably, he's got enough food fer a month squirreled away in dere."

"Then let's go eat, I'm buying." Leo offered a hand to help his emerald brother up.

Raph let Leo help him rise. "Where we goin'?"

"April's."

"Casey'll love hearin' 'bout dis." Raph snickered walking up the stairs. "We bringing da puppy?"

"OW! Donnie, that HURT!"

"Then might I suggest you run just a tad bit faster. Keep in mind, the floor's slippery in places!"

Raph and Leo paused at the top of the stairs, watching as a screaming Michelangelo went sliding across the floor on his carapace to smack face first into the wall.

Raph looked at Leo. "He'd know. He is a genius."

"I think I prefer springtime in the jungle," Leo said heading for the elevator, and the puppy.

"Yeah?"

"Spring cleaning there consisted of little more than moving a few fallen trees, and dragging a couple dead carcasses off the roads."

Another screech from their baby brother let them know Mikey's uncanny agility had failed him yet again.

"It was a lot tamer there than it is here."

* * *

Thanks for reading.


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